What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Should you have a threesome with your best friend and your significant other if the significant other requests it?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

What! how could you do that?

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

True - how I loved my mum!

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What do you mean son?

What should I be looking for when trying out running shoes? Local store lets me try the shoe and jog up and down the block, but they mostly feel the same to me. Is there some feeling or anything else specific I should be looking for?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?